So here is what I’m learning… or I guess I started learning a lot about a month ago, but I’m just now putting it into words… God loves me like His bride. God loves the body of believers as His bride. I know what you might be thinking now, “Janie, really? You’re just now figuring this out? Have you ever read the New Testament?” I guess the answer to all three of those questions is yes.
I’ve always known that God loves me, loves us, like a groom loves a bride, but I’ve never felt or experienced what a love like that was. Not from a human stand point. So now I’m learning and seeing and feeling and knowing what it really means. What His love, and any real unconditional love for that matter, really means, how it feels, and what to do about it. I feel so beautiful. And not just as a woman made in God’s image and made to show His tender and nurturing side, but I feel beautiful because of His love. Although I’ll never be a groom that is in love with his bride (well, lets hope not anyways!) I have somehow been able to understand this love. Through many different relationships and experiences. And I’m not going to lie, my boyfriend, Ryan, has helped show me this more than anyone. No matter how much I mess up, no matter how analytical (lets hope I’m not to much of this for his sake), or “girl” like I get (and when I say girl like I mean that awful way all girls act at some time and you just know to stay away) I’m loved. God anticipates me. He anticipates us. When we allow ourselves to become fully His… I just think it’s so beautiful. What an amazing picture He has given us… because He knew that somehow and someway we would get it.
It seems this whole semester has been a challenge. You know those kind with the dumb classes, that you try to like or find some sort of common ground but just don’t. The kind of semesters where you remember, “Oh yeah… I’m supposed to be an adult.” Yikes… the “A” word. I’m so ready for life to really, fully start. I anticipate so many things that I’ve longed for and have desired for my future… and yet I’m realizing I really don’t want it to rush to get here… Oh my. The beauty of growth.
I like to compare life and growing up to the four seasons. How beautiful is the picture of Christ and having a relationship with him than seeing Him in the joy and kid-like fun as in Summer. Or those times when change comes in… everything is going a completely different way than it was but the end result is always an amazing color like in Fall. Then there are times where you feel dry, almost like you’re hybernating because things have to die-off so that it can become new again, as in Winter. Which is when my favorite part comes in… Spring. The time of growth and those things that died off in Winter have become alive and awakened. They have been revived, restored, and made new. Well I say, what more perfect time than Spring to be revived and to grow?
I’m definitely ready for things to be over, at least this semester… But I’m so excited for what God has for me now and through the rest of this semester so then why should I want it to be over? Because it’s hard? That’s a dumb reason… but if I look only ahead at what maybe might one day happen with my next semester then I miss the beauty of the growth and restoration… I don’t know… It’s just a lot for me…
Oh, and by the way…. I’m going to England soon and I can’t wait.
