Oh wow… How much time and growth and hurt and joy has passed.
I’ve been through so many seasons in the past year… even since April…
I had the wonderful opportunity to go to England at the very beginning of summer. I had such a hard time in the beginning, but, after a few days passed I really got to be light in such a dark dark world. They do everything different (which isn’t a bad thing) and I’m pretty sure they didn’t know what to do with us. I met an incredibly sweet old man that touched my heart. He seemed to get no love from anyone, not even his son down the street. It was so wonderful to see him finally smile, and tell us awesome stories about war. We got to put on a skit for the children and reinact when Jesus calms the storm (I got to be the rain!). We spent so much time with youth from the church and school. They had no idea why we’d pick their little town in England to go on “holiday” and why we’d care to talk to them and clean up after and serve them. No one understood the way we did church and I certainly didn’t get their’s… but for those that were Christians lighting up Nunthorpe, it didn’t matter. Church was them, because they are the body. We agreed, disagreed, shared veiws, talked, laughed (a lot), got very confused by their “language” (why can’t they just speak English over there?)… My friend and I even got to sing at this “show” that the church put on, mainly for the parents of the children and teens that didn’t go to a church at all. We did a song that touched our hearts the first time we heard it, knowing full well that made us think of England (I knew it and I hadn’t even gone to England yet…).
Summer has passed us by so fast. It was a good summer, although I don’t remember most of it. I feel so spoiled and longing for so much more than I need.
Oh God, please let me see the way You see.
I’ve had to give up all these organizations and things that I love doing around campus because of my major. I can’t help but feel utter jealousy for those that get to be involved… I want to be brave. I know that being a leader means stepping back so others can step forward, but I honestly, and ashamedly, don’t want to. I feel like I’m not finished, but I see nothing that I can do. No way that I can help… especially after my accident. But it’s ok somehow. I have faith and trust that it’s all apart of a bigger plan that I can’t see nor want to see… cause where would the fun and surprise be if I knew what was going to happen?
Not my will but you will be done, Beautiful LORD.
It is nothing profound. Nothing special to write home about or learn from. I’ve struggled and learned so much I can’t even begin to put it on here. Nor can I say it eloquently enough for it to sound as magnificent as it was when, the One, taught it to me.
But, oh, that I can really and truly be a light in the world. That I can be Jesus with skin on. That all anyone can see of me is not Janie, a school teacher, Ryan’s girlfriend, or someone who laughs too loud and too much… but that the only thing they see and hear from me is Jesus. That is my greatest desire. It has always been in me somewhere… but now more than ever, I feel I need to give some things up (even though that scares me more than anything) and grow closer to Him so that I can be Him to someone… anyone that is in darkness and is searching.
You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You Are
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here
You’re the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You’re the King above all Kings
You Are
You’re the strength in our weakness
You’re the love to the broken
You’re the joy in the sadness
You Are
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here
There are still a so many things that our Great God wants to do… and I can’t wait to be apart of it all.
Hi,
i chanced upon your blog when i was looking for the song. It’s been a year since this entry, hopefully things are better for – in the sense where you see where you’re heading in God’s ministry. I feel the same as you in this entry – where i’m lost in my direction. But God is the God of our cities and when things happen, He makes it happen for a reason. =)